Aging and Doctors Visits


So, after having just dropped my Mother-in-Law off – she’s 80 by the way – at the entrance to the lobby of the Arthritis & Osteoporosis Consultants of the Carolinas (OACC). I just joined her here in the 6th Floor waiting room.

Now understand something, I am keenly aware that in this day and time, one does not need to be elderly to have arthritic or any other medical issues, but let’s face it, when you visit most waiting rooms, especially those of a specialist, it’s mainly older people occupying the seats.

The point of this blog, and hopefully with some levity, is the unusualness and sometimes humor in how elderly people seem to approach doctors visits. They take them very seriously, even to the point of (seemingly) considering a visit to the doctor an honor and a privilege, a badge of honor, or maybe (to them a trip out of the house). Like some seniors, my Mother-in-Law doesn’t drive; therefore, she’s dependent on me or my wife for the curb service from home to the doctor and back again.

As for me, I hate Doctor’s visits, especially those that require fasting. My anxiety begins to start about week before the visit date and it grows exponentially until the day of the visit, sometimes to the point of just canceling and/or rescheduling the visit altogether at the last-minute. This creates additional anxiety because by doing so, I am left with this immense weight on my future well-being, knowing this will only create a dilemma with delayed anxiety, of having to go through this all over again.

Believe it or not, I care about my health and I make all of my scheduled visits 95% of the time, and on the first scheduled date. Then there is the hurry up and wait that just beguiles me and annoys me so much. I wouldn’t have a problem with the demands placed on me by the doctor’s office, if they wouldn’t demand we be on time and not a minute late, and by the way, be there at least 15 minutes prior to your appoint time. Partly because a one hour doctors visit actually costs you a half day of real-time in your schedule. When you consider the two-hour prep and driving time on the front end, the five minutes the doctor spends with you – lab work not included in this analysis – and the seemingly hour or so wait time on the back-end for feedback from the doctors (assistant), the drive back home

Back to the seniors I have had the experience of dealing with. Most of them seem to have quite the opposite disposition regarding doctors visits.

First off, they look forward to them. They mark their calendars and happily await that date. They’ll remind you of it often enough that it becomes embedded in your mental processor. It’s always that last reminder the night before, as if you could have possibly forgotten with those multitude of reminders. Again, this rings true with my Mother-in-Law giving the fact she doesn’t drive. Why she doesn’t drive is another story, one to be told in a later offering of thoughtful insights into dealing with the elderly.

Secondly, they get up really early and get dressed. Now, there is nothing wrong with waking and getting dressed early for any appointment; except when the appointment is at 10:00 am and you’re up at 5:30, dressed, sitting in your favorite chair, reading the local newspaper and watching your every move to be sure you’re up, dressed and ready to roll, as if, to make sure you’re taking this as serious as they are. This is because they consider late, or just on the edge of being late, a total failure in their lives. It was if, if they’re on time, they have done a great service to humanity.

Me, well, I believe in being on time, because after all, I am wanting to get this experience over and done with as soon as possible.

Now being late, or shall I say setting them there late, is the last thing you want to do. I had that happen to me on my trip taking my Mother-in-Law to one of her appointments. Mind you, we were within the (general) 15 minute window of the appointment time and the infamous “must arrive at least 15 minutes early” law.

Seniors don’t mind being early. As a matter of fact, they prefer it, they relish it, their whole upfront routine I mentioned earlier is all part of the doctor visit ritual, the doctors visit experience to them. If you observe them arriving in the waiting room to check-in, they’re spirited, smiling, talking and ready (Medicare and Medicaid cards in hand) to be processed into doctor camp.

Then, there is the ultimate truth validation to what I have been saying when you encounter the guy in the waiting room, and I did encounter such a guy, who seemingly has been there – in the waiting room – all day, and who exemplifies the a true doctor visitor patriot.  He was there when I arrived and was there when I left.  All the while, he was striking up conversations with anyone who would cared to allow him to engage them.  He talked affectionately about his doctors, the number of times he had received new doctors, his medications and the number he was taking and knew to the day and minute of his next appointment.

This is the guy, or lady, who hangs around the doctor’s office and spends his time conversing with other patients on things like, who his new doctor is, how long he’s been seeing him, the new meds he’s be prescribed and the joyful exhilaration of looking forward to his next appointment(s). It’s as though he is willing to wait right there in the waiting room for the next six months until his next appointment. WTF!

Finally, the visit is done and there is the issue of prescriptions – another topic for another time. When you visit the pharmacy, or any pharmacy for that matter, in the doctors building, it’s really humbling to know you don’t have as many medical issues as a lot of people do. People are collecting and walking out with bags, I mean bags of drugs.

Mind you, I am not making light of people who needs (necessary) medications for their chronic ailments. Short term relief of pain is one of those exceptions I am referring too. Disagree with me if you may, that’s your call; however, I am convinced through my own experiences, and the research I have done, that we’re being drugged to death.

Finally, if you’re taking care of an elderly parent or grandparent, be prepared for the ride of your life – to the doctor’s office.


2 thoughts on “Aging and Doctors Visits

  1. Kyla January 3, 2019 / 5:10 pm

    What a great article! The writing is superb! Love you and keep up the great work.


    • Joe Neely, Jr. January 3, 2019 / 9:58 pm

      Thanks sweetie.

      Did you check out some of the other articles?


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